Learning Log,  Reflection

Reflections as I near the end of EYV

With time fast running out before my EYV deadline arrives I wanted to put some thoughts down in between the juggling of assignments and coursework.

Deadlines:

I have applied for an extension to my 16th July deadline. I hope that I will have my work all completed by then but with just 10 days until my tutor needs my work handed in, I’m very concerned that that won’t be possible. I foresee little sleep happening in the next week but I’m hoping I can get the work needed of me completed in the timescale I have.

My plan is to submit for the November assessments, which means I have to have all my work ready for assessment and handed in by the 15th September I think it is. With my children breaking up for the summer holidays in July and various trips and holidays planned, I’m really hoping that I can have everything wrapped up as early as possible so I can take the holidays off and enjoy it with them.

I am keen not to miss the assessment hand in deadline as I really want to get cracking with the graphic design pathway and have a fresh start when I do so. My plan is to be able to start Graphic Design when my children return to school in September.

ADHD & Mental Health:

After what has been a very difficult year and struggling more than ever before with both my mental and subsequently my physical health, I sought support and have now had an initial diagnosis of combined ADHD.

This has been a complete lightbulb moment for me, explaining many of my struggles and shedding light on why certain tasks are so difficult. It makes sense too as my eldest son is now undergoing an autism assessment and my youngest son is also suspected of having ADHD.

The last 18 months have been incredibly challenging for me. Shortly after enrolling on this degree course my baby became a much more demanding toddler, which coincided beautifully with the start of the pandemic, the fear that came with that, and of course having to home school a then 7 and 8 year old.
The pandemic saw my steady wedding businesses grind to a halt instantly, and my hypnobirthing classes were also hit hard with the restrictions. I found the mental load of carrying my own pregnancy and birth experience as well as all the difficult stories from my clients trying to birth amongst the red tale of the pandemic just too much and I decided to close my business of 8 years. Suddenly I found myself with no income and little in the way of support. I started to create web sites for clients which provided some income, but I found this and the subsequent learning curve of starting this new business too much alongside everything else and for the sake of my mental health have paused this work until I have wrapped up EYV and can study at a more sustainable rate.

Unsurprisingly towards the end of 2020 I hit rock bottom and was in full blown survival mode. I was prescribed medication and a few rounds of therapy and I am pleased to say I am now starting to see the light again.

However I am still very much struggling with many things including studying, which is one of the many things that has led to my ADHD diagnosis.

I am currently in the limbo between diagnosis and treatment, but I am already feeling so grateful for the insight into how my brain functions and am finding lots of other peoples’ experiences helpful when it comes to utilising my traits to my advantage. I am hopeful that with medication and therapy I will be able to thrive again and see it quite poignant that this all seems to be happening around the time I switch the the Graphic Design course. I’ve just got to hang in there and be kind to myself for the time being and keep on going!

While the past year has been one of the hardest of my life, I am grateful for the opportunities it has given me for learning about myself and my resilience. Life is completely different to this time last year in ways I never saw coming, but in the long run I feel it is all for the best.

With treatment on the horizon, my sons back at school full time with all restrictions hopefully lifted come September, my wedding work starting to pick up again, my youngest starting preschool in January and the opportunity to start a fresh on my new degree pathway, I’m hoping 2022 will be a much happier year!

My EYV Journey:

For all the reasons mentioned above, EYV has been a very difficult unit for me. I started the course with such optimism, and confidence that I would do well and achieve high marks. Now I will be grateful just to pass, and see it as a huge accomplishment to do so given all the challenges along the way.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *